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Dateline Redmond, Washington - February 22, 1995
Earlier today, sources very close to Bill Gates revealed privately that Mr. Gates has declined the Republican nomination for President in 1996. These same sources further indicated that personal overtures had been made by Newt Gingrich. They stated that Mr. Gingrich was deeply disappointed.
Why did Newt pursue Mr. Gates to be the party's nominee? Sources indicated that Newt felt the contract with America had succeeded beyond his expectations. "The contract has proven that Americans want real change and want things to be different." By putting Gates into the leadership role Newt analyzed that "Americans would identify with his great vision, his love for technology, and his success." The hope would be that America could somehow duplicate Microsoft's success by enlisting its leader. Bill would have represented phase 2 of the contract.
So why did Bill turn it down? These very reliable sources report that he did it for these reasons:
1 - Unwilling to share power with congress and the supreme court.
2 - The pay was too low.
3 - Worry that holding such a job might impede Microsoft's ability to ram an antitrust exemption through congress.
4 - Turned off by so many suit and tie days.
5 - White house is low tech and the salmon don't run there.
6 - So many government officials are computer illiterate and, according to Bill, don't even have eMail.
7 - Unwilling to share spotlight with Newt
8 - Inability to secure guarantees from postal service that franking priveledges could be used for Microsoft direct mail catalog mailings and IRS balked on committment to include in tax returns.
9 - Would rather appoint congressmen instead of having to deal with whomever had been elected. Also wants ability to terminate anyone he's unhappy with.
10 - Can't print stock options to reward government employees and doesn't like the idea of paying with cash.
One source cautioned that walking out of negotiations is a patented Gates negotiating ploy. He may just be trying to sweeten the deal.
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