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The first annual, Choose-A-Urinal(c) Challenge!
Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men
everywhere)... women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the
restroom that MUST be followed.
The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An 'x' above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
| | | x | | | x | indicates men are at stalls 3
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | and 6.
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You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which
stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!
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Easy Section
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1.)
| | x | | x | | |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: __
1 (easy). 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
2.)
| x | | | | | |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: __
2 (easy). 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater
risk of being next to someone
who arrives later.
Kind of tricky Section:
3.)
| | | | | | |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: __
3 (kind of tricky). 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying, "I don't want
anyone next to me."
4.)
| | x | | x | | x |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: ___
4 (kind of tricky). 1 You're stuck being next to at least ONE
guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are
stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.
Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
5.)
| | x | | | x | x |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: __
5 (HARD!). 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with
the guy in stall 2. And we
wouldn't want THAT now, would we?
This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot
be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand!
VERY tricky indeed
6.)
| x | x | | | x | x |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
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Your choice: ___
6 (DAMN HARD!). NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your
hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you
have to go REAL, REAL BAD...for god's sake, man!...use a doored stall.
Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
--- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse
and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
--- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone
other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest
offense.
---NO Singing. Period.
---Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you
there. I will not look again".
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